Serve Him

Serve Him
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

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My name is Tina Foster. I hope you will enjoy reading my blog and seeing some of the crafts I have up for sale. Please feel free to leave a comment below to get in touch with me.


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contact me at tinafoster3769@gmail.com

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Twenty five years and God's lessons


Today my husband and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. As I think back over the last twenty five years, I'm thinking about the many lessons God has taught me through this marriage. There are so many of them, but the top three would be communication, arguing fairly, and putting God first and my husband second.

Neither my husband nor myself grew up in homes where communication was modeled well. In my house if someone was mad at you one of two things would happen. Either there would be shouting at you or there would be tension filled silence that could and did last up to three years at one point. So, granted when RT and I got married it was a huge challenge to communicate feelings, ideas and disagreements. I would shut him out by not speaking to him, he would go around slamming doors and yelling. It wasn't until God forced us into a marriage class that helped us learn how to communicate well. I had to learn that he didn't think the way I did that it wasn't an attack on me. He wasn't doing it to wound me or hurt me. He truly loved me and wanted to talk things out with me. He had to learn too that slamming things would put up a huge wall for me and I would immediately shut down. God showed us how to talk things out without putting up defenses. I still don't do this perfectly, but we are much better at communicating now.

In our ability to mess up communications it would logically lead into many disagreements and downright arguments. We could get into some really big fights. I remember many nights early on wondering what I had gotten myself into with this marriage. It was draining and frustrating. I couldn't make him change and he couldn't control me. Again, God stepped in and taught me that I cannot change my husband or control him and make him do what I wanted him to do, but I can control myself and change the way I responded to my husband. So, I started praying for that. I prayed God would show me how to change from the inside out. I asked him to help me to respond in a more loving way even when I didn't agree with my husband or when he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do. Slowly over time God change not just me, but my husband. He started noticing my changes and he started looking at himself and how he was reacting. God was working on us both instead of us trying to control or change the other person.

One of the most important things I've learned is to put God first in our marriage and my husband second. Yes, that means even before the kids. Hard I know. RT and I went to another marriage class in 2012. We believe in doing something like this every couple of years to help keep us from taking the other for granted or getting too comfortable. In this class we learned the triangle method of marriage. At the top of the triangle is God and the other two angles is me on one side and RT on the other side. The more we climb closer to God the closer we get to each other. When we love like God loves we learn and choose to love each other the same way, including our husbands. This played out through RT and he showed me what this looks like. I've suffered from chronic pain for about 17 years, but in 2012 I hurt my back even more. The pain got so bad I would have panic attacks from it. Nothing I did helped. RT put my needs above his own. He would rub the pain in my back, fix dinner for me and the girls, cater to my needs at every turn. He put aside things he wanted to do to take care of me. We are four years later and I'm a little better but not cured yet of my pain and RT still puts my needs above his own. He taught me what it means to love your spouse like God loves them.

I'm so glad God has intervened in our lives and taught us how to live this married life. Our marriage is no where near perfect, but God is shaping it to look more like what he intended it to look like all along. I'm also blessed to have a husband that allows God to work in his life. He truly wants to live his life for Jesus. Thank you God for healing our marriage on person at a time, one day at a time.

In Christ's love,
Tina

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