Thanks to Him

This time of the year we are always thinking about what we are thankful for in this life. I'm no different except I think about this every day. I think about where I came from, my sinful past. I think about how Jesus died on a cross for my sinful human self. I'm more thankful than I can even write in this blog. 

At the age of twelve, my God blessed me so much with a church where he spoke to me through a youth leader. That day I gave my life to the Lord Jesus. I have not always been a faithful servant of Jesus, but my wonderful God forgives me every time I repent my sins to him. How could I be any more blessed. That was only the beginning. 

The year after I gave my life to Jesus, my life was turned upside down. My father moved me to a different town 200 miles away from my new church family. This time in my life was very hard and even harder to follow Jesus without someone to mentor me, but even in this God  blessed me. 

When I was 15, God allowed me to meet a boy who would change my life. He later became my wonderful husband. God allowed the boy to come into my life to show me that he loved me and that, yes, I was lovable and wanted, despite what people said about me. 

After 7 years of dating and going through some rough times, we married. God blessed me with the most wonderful husband. My wonderful, graceful God allowed me to meet this man and come to love him and even better he came to love me. He went through many hard times with me. He loved me unconditionally. He stood by me, encouraged me, loved me, and was God's hands and feet to me. He loves Jesus so much and our marriage has only been blessed further for it. He's a wonderful father.

God not only blessed me with a wonderful man, but God allowed me to be the mother of two beautiful ,bright, and loving daughters. Daughters who make me proud as they serve and love God every day. Daughters who just a couple of years ago accepted the free gift of salvation from Jesus Christ. They are the light of my life. My days are not complete without their smiling faces and wonderful hugs. I love to see their excitement over a favorite movie, book or a great day at school. I'm thankful for cold evenings, watching movies, cuddling up next to the fire, all with my wonderful daughters surrounding me. They love watching sappy Christmas movies with me over and over again. 

God in his great mercy and grace blessed me with the opportunity to be a small group leader to middle school girls. Many of which I've known since kindergarten. He blesses we every week by allowing me to do life with these girls through a small group at my house. I'm allowed the opportunity to share God's love with them every week. I'm so blessed that they actually like being with me and learning about God. 

God in his friendship with me has allowed me to have some really great friends and he allows me the chance to meet new friends through the many bible studies that I'm able to attend and my serving in the middle school room. Many of these friends have stopped what they were doing to pray for me, take care of my children during the sickness of my father-in-law, have brought me dinners when I hurt my back, and been there for me to encourage me. 

I've also been blessed with great in-laws. God allowed me to be a part of a family. We lost my father-in-law almost two years ago. I love my mother-in-law to death. She is a much better mother and than I am a daughter. That is for sure. My life would not be complete without her. God has allowed me to repair my relationship with my father and now I feel blessed to have him in my life and in my daughter's lives. 

Today I reflect on where I came from. I have experienced loneliness, friendlessness, absence of a real family, no one to love or be loved by. But that was then. Today I am blessed beyond measure with family and friends.  With loved ones for me to love and to be loved by. But most of all I'm blessed and most thankful for God who not only called me into his family but also called my husband and two daughters. Material things matter little to me, in fact I'd do away with all the gift giving if I could, what matters to me are the people God has allowed to come into my life. They may never know how much they have changed my life, but God does and I pray his blessing on all their lives daily. 

So this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for all of you! God bless you all! 

In Christ's love,

~Tina Foster~ 

Self loathing =PRIDE? What?

I am going through a bible study right now on the book of Job. I've learned so much, but a couple of weeks ago I got a kick in the gut. We were talking about pride. Sure I knew what pride was. It's when you boast about yourself to make yourself look better. You make you the center of every conversation, you talk about your good qualities, you build yourself up, and make yourself seem great. Right? Yes, that's it. So, no I don't have pride. 

Well, here comes the kicker. I also found out that self loathing is a form of pride! What? No way! Yes, the person who despises herself, puts herself down all the time, compares herself to others,worries about what others thinks of her, feels worthless and lives in fear of rejection is prideful. It's pride because it puts me in the center stage. It puts the incompetence at center stage. Ok, now I know that was tough for some as it was for me. I needed air, so you might need air too. Take a deep breath! 

Over the last few weeks, I've been struggling hard with this. From the time I was little I've heard words like "your ugly", "your worthless", " no one will ever love you", "your such a failure", "you'll never be accepted", and "no one cares about you". Those words echoed in my head during every stage of my life. I'm 45 now and I'm ashamed to say that even to this day those words echo in my head. I've never been able to lay those words down. They have controlled my every waking moment of my life. Whenever I would fail at something, these words would go through my head. Whenever someone called me out, these words would go through my head. Whenever I had a disagreement with someone, these words would go through my head. 

As I'm going through this Job study, I'm wondering, like Job, why is this happening to me. I suffer from depression often and I wonder why God has not healed me from it. I suffer from chronic pain and I wonder why God has not healed me from it. I suffer from loneliness and I wonder why God has not healed me from it. My questions were like Job's questions. Why,God? Am I not faithful enough? Do I not love you enough? Is there something I need to learn from this suffering? What can I do to make this go away? 

Well, this week I got my answer. We read where God used a friend of Job's to speak truth in his life before God came and laid it all out for Job. Job's friend Elihu told Job that his pride was keeping him from seeing how great and wonderful God really was. He said to him how dare he think that God is in the wrong and Job is in the right. How dare he think that God owes him something? God's ways are so much higher than our ways. We've made God out to be some human God, when in reality God is so much greater than we can even imagine. We are mere specks of dusk on a lens and yet he cares enough to speak to us. 

I had my own "Elihu" speak to me this week during my depression and self loathing pride. My husband allowed God to show him how to help me. Bless his soul, he's dealt with this with me for over 30 years. Why he's stayed is a true miracle to me and a blessing from God. God told my husband to have me spend just 7 minutes a day in positive thinking. My first thoughts were, "no way I can do that without a negative thought crossing my mind." So he told me to write down some truths God says about me. So, I did. I spent the first day pulling from scripture words that God uses to describe how he feels about me. Now I use this to meditate on it for at least 7 minutes a day first thing in the morning. Then I take the time to pray it back to God. 

I'm going to be honest here. It's wasn't an over night miracle, but I am seeing a difference. God is changing the way I think and look at myself now. He used my husband like he used Elihu in Job's life. 

God came to Job in a tornado to speak truth to him. Well, this week he came to me not through a tornado but a still, soft voice that allowed me to finally lay down those negative words at his feet. I did that last night. I was able to forgive all those people who spoke those words to me and I was able to forgive myself for allowing those words to have control over me for so many years. This morning I confessed that it was my pride that was holding onto these negative words and allowing them to control me. I guess I've been doing it for so long that I never thought much about it anymore. It was part of who I was. Another lie I was telling myself. 

Today as I read my 7 minutes of positive truths, I spoke them out loud like an anthem. 

I am God's masterpiece!

I am loved!

I am beautiful!

I am accepted!

I am Worthy!

I am renewed!

I am forgiven!

I am his beloved!

I am precious!

I am wanted!

I have a purpose!

I can bear fruit!

I am safe!

I am not afraid!

I am trustworthy!

I am a holy and royal priest!

I am the daughter of the most High King!

This is only a portion of it, but God is showing me how to focus on his truth and let go of the lies. So, today my eyes have been opened to who God is. I had heard about his greatness, but today I can see it! He is too wonderful for me to comprehend, but he cares enough about me to hear my prayer and guide me to truth just like he did with Job! Thank you, Jesus, for your unending love and for my "Elihu"! 

In Christ's love,

~Tina Foster~ 

"I just wanted to feel special"

The past few weeks at our church the middle school, high school and adult church have been going through a  "Tough Conversations about Sex" series. Now I know some parents think that middle school is too young for this or that you are just not ready to have that conversation with your kid. Well, statistically kids are exposed to some kind of sexual content by the age of 8 years old. Eight years old!! Can you believe that? The average age of kids having their first sexual encounter is 16.4. I have two daughters and I want my daughters to know what God says about sex. Not just that it was meant for a husband and wife or that you can get a disease if you have sex out of wedlock like the schools preach. I want my daughters to value themselves enough to know that they don't have to do anything to feel "special" because they are special. Just like the video above, this girl had a low self-esteem about herself and allowed satan to tell her that in order to feel special she needed to give her body to some boy.

I mentor middle school age girls and it so saddens me to hear them put themselves down. To think of themselves like the girl in the video did. That they are not pretty enough, smart enough, worthy enough for anyone to love them. They are not special. As a parent, I want to make my girls feel special, feel loved. But, I know that girls can only feel affirmation about their self-esteem from the only one whose opinion even matters, God! We as parents must direct them to scripture CONSTANTLY, God's truth. He considers us "fearfully and wonderfully made." He loves us above all others.( Ephesians 2:4,6) We are "chosen, a royal priesthood, holy, belonging to God." (1Peter 2:9) We are "accepted in the beloved." (Ephesians 1:5) We are "precious, honored and loved." (Isaiah 43:4) We have "God's power working through me." (Ephesians 3:7)

I could go on and on about the truth of how God feels about us. I know this is a difficult thing for girls especially. Even at my age I too still struggle with this. Just think if we helped our daughters see this truth early on in life, what a difference it could make.

I know that no one wants to have the sex talk with their child, but I'm telling you that if you don't they will hear it elsewhere. And you know what? It won't be God's point of view and it may be too late. Please parents take the time to talk to your kids. Affirm them in God's love. Show them how incredibly important they  are to the One True King!!

And for all you ladies out their, gather these verses for yourself. Do NOT let the enemy temp you into thinking you need this affirmation from a guy to make yourself feel special and loved. God is the only  one we can truly rely on in all situations. For your convenience, I've added a few more verses below. Write them on your hearts!!

I am a child of God (Romans 16-17)
I am greatly loved (Ephesians 2:4,6)
I have been set free (Romans 8:2)
I am accepted in the beloved (Ephesians 1:6)
I am given glorious grace lavishly and without restrictions (Ephesians 1:5,8)
God dwells in me & I am lovely(1 Corinthians 3:16-17, 6:19-20, Psalm 84:1)
I am precious, honored, and loved (Isaiah 43:4)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14)
God is greater than the one in the world (1John 4:4)
I can be strong and have God's power (Ephesians 6:10)
God plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)
When I am weak, I am made strong by God's perfect power (2Corinthians 12:9-10)

In Christ's Love,
~Tina Foster~

Loving fall and my hubby

My husband  knows how much I love fall and anything sweet. Since I went gluten free about 3years ago, it's been hard to find good gluten free sweets. Oh, but my hubby is wonderful. He goes out of his way to make me happy. He made the most amazing cinnamon pancakes that are gluten free and have cream cheese icing to top it off.  I thought I might have just died and gone to heaven. So, because my husband is the best, I made him write down the recipe. He altered one from the Internet, all for me. So, here it is. I pray you'll enjoy it and that you have someone special to make it for you. Hey, if not God loves you and wants you to make them for yourself. So, spoil yourself and enjoy these mouth watering pancakes from heaven. By the way he used gluten free bisquick for me, but you can use regular bisquick if you are not gluten free.

Spending time with God!

"Spend time with God" So many people say this is the way to have a relationship with Jesus. What do you hear when someone says spend time with God?

"I don't have an hour to spend in a room, at a table reading my bible with a highlighter and commentary, so I guess I won't be able to have a relationship with God."

I hear this all the time. It dawns on me that kids today don't know how to spend time with God. They hear that if they don't spend hours sitting in one spot reading half the bible and memorizing 100 verses that they are not spending time with God. Wrong!! I believe that we think that if we spend 10 or 15 minutes that we aren't good Christians because we can't sit still with God. What we don't know is that when we take those 10 or 15 minutes with God that he can stretch them into 30minutes or an hour.

This happened to me. When I hear someone say that they spent hours in prayer time with God, I think, " Wow! I must be a terrible Christian for not being able to spend this much time with God." Then I decided to do what I could, so I made a plan to spend at least 15 minutes a day in solitude, with my bible, alone with God. Before I knew it I was spending a half hour with God, then an hour with God. Just the other day I was doing a bible study and reading Gods word and praying, that when I looked up at the time I had been spending over 2 hours with God. How amazing is that!

I recently told one of the middle school girls I mentor that spending time with God will reap such wonderful blessings on her life. I told her to start out making a habit of spending 15 minutes a day with God in solitude. That means put the cellphone away, turn off the tv, go away to a quiet place you can be alone, and be with God. Start out with a verse. Read the verse, then read the chapter that the verse is in. Take time to summarize this verse in your own words. What does this verse mean to you? How can you apply it to you life? Pray that God will teach you something through this verse this week. Meditate on this verse.

She came back to me later and said that she not only spent 15 minutes with God, but actually spent 45 minutes with God. God met her there in her quiet time with him.

My heart soared for her. How great our God is that he meets us in our quiet time with him. He does want to have a relationship with us.

I couldn't think of a better lesson for her. She learned first hand why we need to spend time with God and how we start.

Prayer is the number one way to have a deeper relationship with God. When we spend time with God in his word and talking to him, he uses his word to speak to us. More times than I can count, God has used a verse to teach me about how to live or act at a certain moment in my life. It's through my quiet time and bible study, that I'm able to recognize God's voice.

I was recently given a visual reminder that we are only on this earth a short time. On average we will live on this earth about 80 years. We have about 80 years to make a difference for God. Our purpose in this life is to bring God glory in everything we do. In order to be in God's will, we have to know what God's will is for us. In order to know what God's will for us is, we need to be in relationship with God. He will show us his will for today. I know so many of us, me included, want to know God's plan for our future. I'm learning that God is only going to reveal enough of his plan for us to get through today. And you know that is really all we can handle. His ways are so much higher than our ways. We can't handle the entire picture. So, we must stay in relationship with him so we can see his plan for us and to be able to give God glory.

So, there you go. The secret to what your purpose is on this earth. The mysterious question that has been asked for centuries has now been answered. Now, are you going to seek a relationship with God and fulfill your purpose?  

Ephesians 2:8-10
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of your works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

In Christ's love,
~Tina Foster~

"You don’t know God is all you need until God is all you’ve got."

On the first night of middle school life groups, fourteen girls showed up thirsty for community and Jesus. I'm so blessed to be given the chance to minister to these girls. Some of these girls don't know Jesus is what they need. At their age I didn't know it either, until one day my eyes we're  opened. That's when this quote from Rick Warren happened to me, "you don't know God is all you need until God is all you've got." 

At 12 years old my life had been turned upside down. My father divorced the only family I had ever really known. My step-mother was like a real mom to me. I was told to leave the house I grew up in. Leave a step-brother and step-sister that I've known since they were born. I wasn't allowed to contact them at all. At 12 this is devastating. The next thing I know, my father is  involved with another woman and we are moving about 200 miles away to a place where I didn't know anyone. 

I needed God and he was there for me. I didn't know that was what I needed at the time. I missed my family like crazy. I was in another new school trying to fit it. In a place where I knew no one. In an area of Virginia where I had no "home." God called my name. I was a baby Christian and he walked with me. As a teen and a new Christian I was in desperate need for a savior. He was always there for me. I guess at the time I couldn't see it. As I look back on that time I can see God's hand on my shoulder guiding me through all the rough patches. I didn't have a church community or Christian friends to help me. I definitely didn't have a small group leader to talk out my fears and struggles with.

I believe God uses our struggles to help walk with other people. I can see that now in my life as he has called me to walk with middle school students. I know the struggles they are facing. I understand that need to be accepted and I know the desire to have someone who will listen and give advice based on Gods Word. I've been there. 

That's the whole point of going through struggles, I believe. We've been there and survived. I couldn't have done it without Jesus. God was truly my savior. He kept me from making some truly bad mistakes. I believe he allowed me to go through these things so I can one day become a small group leader, a mentor, to teens. Wow! Isn't that amazing! 

I may be able to make a difference in someone else's life. Rick Warren also says this, "How does God want you to be a witness this week to the unbelievers in your life who are hurting and need hope? He wants you to say, ‘Pain really got my attention. Let me tell you what I learned. I learned that I need people in my life when I’m going through pain. I learned that God is all I need. ‘ "  We are called to be a witness for God. To tell people what God has done in our lives. It's not our job to convince them to trust God, but to tell what he's done for us and how we found out that he was all we needed. I pray every day that I can be that witness to these girls. 

Last night we wrote down what a woman after God's own heart looks like. The answers just kept flowing out of these girls. Patient. Kind. Loving. Loyal. Forgiving. Caring. Selfless. Brave. Courageous. Thankful. On and on they came. Then I asked the question,"which ones did you struggle with the most today?" I want them to have a starting point. We don't know where we are going unless we know where we started. This is their goal. To be women after God's own heart we have to start where we struggle the most and ask God to change us day by day. 

Pray for these girls as they go, each day, asking God to make them young women after God's own heart. What a difference you can make in their lives by just praying for them. Lift up your voices in praise for their desire to be women after God's own heart. Pray for their struggle as we trip and fall. But knowing that these girls make bible study a priority in their life, is an inspiration to me. I too want to be a woman after God's own heart.

In Christ's love,

~Tina Foster~ 

It's not about me!

You know I wasn't going to write about what's been going on with me lately because I thought, "Oh this sounds like a woe is me kinda complaining session." But then I read my devotional today. The verse was Psalm 103:3-4 which says, “He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies." The devotion talked about confessing sin on a daily basis, giving it to God, receiving his forgiveness and moving on. So here I am confessing.

Chronic pain is something I deal with on a daily basis. Whether it is from my arthritis, migraines, or from the inflamed sciatic joint in my lower back. Every day I wake to dealing with another day filled with worries: How much pain will I have today? What will I be able to get done today? Will I be able to handle the pain today? I make the same mistake every day. I make it all about me.

I tend to forget that it's not about me, it's about what God can do through me. Some days I rant and rave because I feel like if I weren't in so much pain I could do so much more. I know God has the power to heal, so why doesn't he? Doesn't he know how much more I could do for him if I didn't have to constantly deal with this pain? You see my problem now?

I am so thankful for God's word that speaks truth in my life. Usually for me it comes through someone else. More times than I can count it comes through a devotion I'm reading. That's what happened today.

This week we've been going over our serving value at church that says, "it's not about me." I've listened to the other stories of what God has been teaching others about this value. It didn't hit me until today when once again I woke to horrible back pain. I haven't slept good in three nights and I was back to my ranting to God. I started thinking about how I was going to manage this when our small groups start up with my middle school girls. How would I be able to lead these girls when all I'm thinking about is the pain I'm in. Then I read my devotion and the verse psalm 103:3-4. God will take care of me and give me his love and mercy if I can let go of my sin of worry. He will do great things through me. I know my purpose here on earth is not done yet. I love the verses in Jeremiah 29:11-14 that say, "For I know the plans I have for you... They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."  So I pray and I look for God in every aspect of my life.

I know God could heal me and take away all my pain in an instant. He chooses not for his reasons that I don't understand, but in each day I'm grateful that he gives me everything I need to get through this day and complete the plans he has for me. No, I may not get my to-do list done, but I am able to accomplish what he wants me to accomplish. I pray every day I will wake up thankful for this day, pain or no pain. I want to complete the purpose he has for me on this day. I try not to worry about tomorrow, granted that is a monumental task for a worrier like me. So each time I feel myself slipping into the sin of worry, I stop and pray, "God, what would you have me do today? How can I serve you today?" Okay don't think I'm a saint or that I do this perfectly. I just confessed I had an all-about-me moment today. But in my brokenness I realized I cannot do this on my own. I HAVE to come to God each day, each hour, each minute, each moment. I cannot do this on my own strength. If left up to me, I would have given up a long time ago.

I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by a community of believers that are willing to pray for me at the drop of a text, no questions asked other than how can they help. I'm glad that I have the truth of God's word to comfort me. I'm glad that I don't have to do this without him. I'm glad he gives me the privilege of serving. I'm glad that it's not all about me. It's about how we can best serve him by letting go of our brokenness and allowing him to work through us. Amen for that. If I allow Him to lead there is no room for me to fail. I'm working in his power. So, no, it's not about me! It's about Him working thorough me!

In Christ's love,
~Tina Foster~

Crafts for College Fund

I've been a stay-at-home mom now for 4 years. In 2010, God gave me a clear message that I needed to be at home for my girls. One child was heading into middle school and the other into the 4th grade. I've worked from the age of 15 so this was a very trying time for me and, at times, it still is. I love being home when the girls get off from school and I love being able to serve my family in this way. I love that fact that I am not as stressed or that my attention is not torn between them and my job anymore. God, in his love and mercy, has given me a chance to be the mom that I've wanted to be. I'm not always good at it, but I do continue to learn each day and rely heavily on God's guidance. Being thankful for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom is something I work at every day.

If you know me at all, you will know that I am domestically challenged. I hate cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I am learning how to do these things with a loving and grateful attitude. Still there are days when I think to myself, "why am I here other than to be a maid?" Oh, I know that I am more than that to my family, but you know somedays it just doesn't feel like it. So, I come up with ways to keep off the boredom. I love to volunteer, lead a table at the women's bible study, and I LOVE to craft.

God as gifted me with a creative mind. I love love love Pinterest. So many ideas for my mind to jump off of. I love crafting. I've been dabbling in many things over the years. I create jewelry, paintings and crafty items. Now, I know I won't get rich doing these things, but they do help me to relieve stress and put a little extra money in my kids college funds. So, if you are interested in helping a fellow mom/parent out, please see my page above called "Crafts for College Funds." I'd love the opportunity to create something special for you. It is a fairly new page, so I'll be adding new things frequently. If you see something that you like, just seen me a comment or email me.

Awesome teens walk with God

I am so blessed to be a small group leader to a great group of middle school teens. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be mentoring teens, I would have thought you were off your rocker. God in his greatness and sense of humor has lead me to be a middle school leader to girls.

I've worked with kids for over 16 year, but most were under the age of 11. God started me out in the nursery taking care of infants even before he blessed me with my own two girls. About four years ago, I heard the calling to go into the middle school room at our church.  At the time, I lead a group of fourth and fifth grade girls. I was leading the fifth graders up into the middle school room for their introduction week and there is when I heard the Holy Spirit tug at my heart.

Since I came to Christ at 12 years old, I felt a strong calling to go into the middle school room to mentor young girls. I did not have anyone to mentor me growing up. After I turned my life over to Christ, we moved away from my church. Since my father was not a Christian, we did not go to church. I had no one to help me walk this life out with God. No one to help guide me in my relationship or to keep me accountable. It made life really hard for me, but I always knew God was there for me. So when I heard the Holy Spirit call me into the middle school room, I was nervous and excited. I wanted to do this right.

I didn't go into the middle school right away. I think God was preparing me though. Some circumstances kept me from going into the middle school room until about 2012. I moved up with my then sixth graders. Some of these girls I've had since kindergarten. From the minute I stepped in with them I felt scared, but at home.

I know what a huge pivotal point this time is in their lives. This is a time where they are trying to figure out who they are, where they fit in, who they want to be, and who they want to hang around
with. The biggest thing that drew me to the middle school was that they were doing small group meetings outside of church. These were like bible study meetings. I jumped at the chance to do one at my house.

My first year of leading a small group we had about four girls, which I was happy with considering any more could have be overwhelming not to mention scary. It was a great year. They were new to the small group idea as was I. I had a great co-leader who had been doing this for quite some time and taught me a lot.

Now I am ready to start my third year of small groups. I'm so excited. The group of sixth graders I originally ushered into middle school are now eighth graders. Over these last two years, I've seen them grow spiritually, emotionally and physcially. God draws them to himself more and more each day. I am so blessed to be a small part in their journey with God.

I just had ice cream with three of the girls from my small group. Listening to them talk about school
and how they are keeping themselves in the midst of where God wants them is a healing balm for my soul. Seeing how they really care about their relationship with Christ more than their relationship with kids at school is so refreshing. They don't care if they are popular. They don't care if they stand out. They don't care if they are labeled "the goody good girl." They find comfort and rest in who God made them to be. As their small group leader, as a mom, as a Christian, as their friend, I am so proud of them all.

This past year I had fifteen girls coming to small group. I don't tell you this to pump myself up at all. I tell you this because I am in awe that God would trust me with fifteen girls to help mentor and walk out this journey of life. As I start a new season of small groups, I'm again in awe that God would trust me with these girl's lives. They have become "my girls." They call me Mama "T" now affectionately. They text me when they have issues going on that their parents just can't help with. They confide in me and ask me to pray for them. I consider it a great privilege when they do. I've never stopped
praying for them.

I don't know how long this season of being a middle school leader will last, but I am soaking it all in while I can. God in his goodness and mercy and, yes, even his humor has put me with some great girls. And you know what? I'm loving every minute of it! Thank you Jesus!


In Christ's love,
Tina Foster

Motherhood: Why do I feel like a failure?

At some point in parenting you are going to ask the questions:
What am I doing wrong?
Why does this have to be so hard?
I look around at other moms and they seem to have it all together, so why do I feel like such a failure?

As parents we have many decisions to make concerning our kids. We make them based on what is best for them and what will keep them safe. So, why do we second guess ourselves and feel like failures?

"Why can't I go with my friend? We are just going to study?" "Why can't I have a smart phone, Jenny got one years ago?" "Why can't I date at 14, you're just old fashioned?"

These are I just a few questions we as parents face. There is no "how to" book that tells us the absolute right way to parent. So, what do we do? Sometimes we pole our friends and see what other people are doing. Then we second guess our instincts. The when things go wrong we blame ourselves.

I recently finished a great book by Lysa TerKeurst called, "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" In this book, Lysa talks about several issues that we as moms struggle with. One in particular that strikes me is the worry of am I a failure as a mom. I constantly feel like a failure at parenting. Like whatever decision I make is wrong. That my kids are going to be mad at me forever.

One of her key verses she helps us focus on is Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  This verse has helped me more times than I can count. When I don't know the right thing to say to my child or when I'm worried my child will grow up to hate me because I didn't give her a cell phone in kindergarten, I call upon this verse and speak it over and over in my mind. Then I take a deep breath and I get on my knees and ask God to take away my worry and anxiety. I ask him to guide my decisions. 


I love what verse seven says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." That is where I find my hope. I know that once I have given over my worries and burdens to God and asked for his help, that I will find peace.

Motherhood has its challenges. Many sleepless nights, ungrateful attitudes, unending housework, constant carpooling, and so much more. I tend to prison myself in state of guilt or second guess myself over the decisions I make. I wonder if I'm failing my kids. Then I stop to remember the truth that God tells me and I give over my guilt and second guessing to Him who can give me peace.

No, my kids didn't have a cell phone in kindergarten, and believe me some did. No, my daughter cannot date at 14 like other kids do. No, I won't let her go off with a person I don't know well. Does this make me a bad parent just because other parents do it? No, what works for one family doesn't work for another. I don't have to base my success as a mom on what others are doing.

Society tends to skew our ideas of what we should or shouldn't allow as parents to our kids. We tend to second guess ourselves just because society thinks it should be one way and we think it should be another way. I for one have decided not to "conform to the patterns of this world" as Romans 12:2 talks about. I'm going to stop comparing myself to other parents. I'm going to take the time to pray about everything and petition God for the answers that I seek and for the guidance I need to be the best parent I can be. Yes, my kids may get mad at me, but I'm going to trust that God knows what is best for my kids. I choose to following his parenting guidelines instead of the worlds!

What about you? What have you found to be the most challenging part about parenthood? What verses have helped you along the way?

I know for me the support and prayer I have in my community has kept me as sane as I can claim to be today. I have a great group of friends who pray for me anytime I send out the SOS. Do you?

I'd love to hear your comments on these questions. Let's encourage each other to do this parenting thing God's way and not conform to this world!!

In Christ's love,
 Tina Foster

Marriage expectations: What do you mean you don't clean toilets?

Up until about seven years ago I had the wrong expectations of what marriage was supposed to be about. My husband and I have been married for almost 24years and up until recently, I had this marriage thing all wrong.

I came into this marriage with expectations. I believe all couples do. It stems from their own upbringing and society. I didn't have good role models for marriage growing up, so I had the expectation that the man I would marry would be my "Knight in Shinning Armor." He would bow to my every whim. He would satisfy my every need and want. He would be my everything. I know what you are thinking, "what fairy tales have you been watching?" Well, your right. My idea of marriage was way off.

I came to know Jesus at an early age of 12, but unfortunately didn't have the body of Christ around me to help guide me. I read my bible and knew what it said about marriage and how it was supposed to be. My husband went to church, but never really had a relationship with Jesus. He was and still is a very good man and did his best to meet my expectations. But as you might have guessed we had issues. He could not possibly be the man I had expected to be married to, no one could be. It wasn't until after some hard years and many tears and much counseling did I realize how my expectations were wrong.

I realized that only God can be all these things in my life. He is my protector; he gives me everlasting love and hope; he provides for my every need. My husband was not meant to be God. Since then I've learned that my husband can be my best friend, my lover, the father of my children, and yes even the one who cleans the toilet for me, but he can't be my everything. Only God can fill this role. Expecting my husband to be my everything sets us up for failure.

My husband came to know Jesus as his personal savior in 2007 and began a real relationship with Jesus that day. Since then we have both seen a  new picture of marriage. God has shown us that if we put him first and our spouse second then we will have the marriage God designed for us.

After God, my husband's needs are to come before anything else. Okay, that sure didn't fit into my "little fairy tale" idea of marriage. Yes, his needs come before my own, before my kids, before my job, before my family. What are you kidding me? No, I'm not. After hearing that in a marriage class one day at my church, it all started to click for us. God gave me this man to share this life with, not to be at my beck and call. When we both put aside our selfish desires and put the other persons needs above our own only then are we truly living out the marriage God designed us to have. I know that submitting to someone else's needs goes against everything we've ever been taught, but it has
changed my marriage tremendously.

Do I still want my way in life? I sure do! Do I still wish he'd drop everything and clean the toilet for me without asking? You bet. Do I still want him to stay home and spend time with me instead of going out with the guys tonight? Most definitely. But I keep reminding myself to listen to the Holy Spirit, who whispers to me, " this is you, Tina, being selfish." I want you to know that this is not a one way street in our marriage. He puts my needs before his own many times, probably more than I do his. But we work together. We talk it out, check our own motives and decide what is right. That is a huge start! Then and only then can he truly be my "Knight in Shinning Armor!"

Ephesians 4:20-24 "20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful 
desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be 
like God in true righteousness and holiness."

Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

In Christ's love,
Tina Foster

Why in the world would I want a blog

Yes, I asked myself that same question, " why in the world would I want a blog?" I know I am not  a writer. I was horrible in English while in school and not much better now. I hated writing papers and my spelling and grammar were atrocious. "So, why am I now writing a blog?" you ask? Because I feel that God gives me these lessons sometimes that he wants me to share.

I get these thoughts or lessons, as I like to call them, about something going on in my life right at the moment and get the overwhelming urge to write about them and to tell my friends. I know I'm supposed to share them, but I'm not so sure how sometimes. That's when God introduced the blog idea. I thought to myself that it sounded ridiculous to think someone would actually want to read something I have written. But if you look back in the bible, God used so many people to teach others a lesson. He used Paul to teach and even Timothy who was young and not experienced. I mean look at Moses, he didn't even think he could speak to people and yet God used him. Okay, I'm not so naive or prideful that I think I am a Paul or a Moses, but I do think he can use ordinary, and believe me I am as ordinary as they come, people to speak messages that he has for us.

So bear with me as I try to obey God and write this blog. It may not be the most brilliant blog out there, but it does come from the heart. I'm learning as I go. The lessons God teaches me, I'd like to share with others. So, here I go. Enjoy!!


In Christ's love
Tina Foster

Calgon take me away

Have you ever had a time in your life where you think your getting ahead and then something happens to shatter that thought. It's like you take two steps forward and three steps back. Things are going good then all of a sudden the washer breaks and you have to buy a new one or someone gets sick and your now swimming in doctor bills. Then we want to scream, " Calgon take me away!"  (I probably just gave away my age here. If you don't know that saying, google it.)

Life if so unpredictable. It seems we thought growing up that if we worked hard for what we got things would be okay. Well, we found out that is not always the truth. It is not even biblical.

Matthew 7:24-27 brings some perspective: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash" (NIV). What's amazing about theses verses is that both the man doing right and the one doing wrong both have trials or hard times. Neither was able to escape them.

Psalm 46:10 says," be still and know that I am God." In that I find rest and peace. If I let myself focus on my trials and my struggles I can easily bring myself to my knees in a panic attack. I'm prone to do this as second nature. I find myself trying to rely on my own strength to fix things. But if I find myself on my knees and I turn to His Word I find that I gather a peace that transcends all understanding and a strength beyond measure that I didn't have before.  I keep repeating His words over and over in my head. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything present your prayers and petition with thanksgiving to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ." Philippians 4:6-7

" Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. For I am The Lord your God and I will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? The maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

Over and over I repeat these verses and more, until finally His peace washes over me. No, my problems did not go away, but my attitude about them has. I no longer feel as overwhelmed as I did before. I know my God is for me, who then can possibly be against me. He will fight for me. Through prayer and petition, I know my God will guide me through this trial.

In Christ's love,
Tina Foster

Fleeting moments

Lately, God has been giving me glimpses of my life as if I'm standing outside my body. Okay, don't close this blog, bare with me. I just sent my daughters back to school. One is in 11th grade and one is just entering the high school in 9th grade. I have a friend who just sent her son to preschool for the first time and another friend sending her daughter off to college for the first time. Here is where the out of body thing comes in. I can see myself in both situations.


I remember the day I sent my daughters off to preschool thinking, " How can they be old enough for preschool already?" I saw them with their little lunch boxes and backpacks eagerly seeking out their little hooks with their names on little apples. I remember thinking where has the time gone.

Now flash forward a few years. (Another out of body experience coming.) I see myself in a couple of years dropping off my daughters at their choice of college. They are older now and not just caring a lunch box and backpack but now they are carrying their clothes and dorm supplies, driving in their cars, and saying goodbye to me. What!

Okay back to my reality. I have a couple more years before they leave my house, but as God shows me these glimpses, I'm getting the feeling I'm suppose to savor the moments I've been given. In Psalm 39:4 it says,"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered how fleeting my life is." I know he doesn't want me to dwell on the past or the future, but to savor the moments of each day he has given me.

If you know anything about me, I'm all about living for today, not stressing over anything, not a worry to be had, very laid back person. Okay so I'm not that way AT all. Totally the opposite as  matter of fact. I worry about everything. So,having these out of body glimpses that God is showing me has helped me focus more on today and to leave tomorrow for God to handle.

How about you? How are you handling the changes in your life or your kids lives? Are you able to find joy in the here and now? I give God the glory for helping me see the joy in these moments of today and for helping me not focus on the past or the future.

I've enjoyed my first blog with you! Have a very blessed day and enjoy these moments for they are fleeting!

In Jesus Christ,
Tina Foster